


Push and Pull

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds, Spencer Reid - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-20 18:20:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9505070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry ;)





	

“Spence…this push and pull…I can’t keep doing it,” you said, tears streaming down your face. Over your years together, you were well aware of how this job took a toll on him, but his response to trauma and devastation was to push the ones he loved away from him, only pulling them back when he was through the trauma in his own way. You couldn’t keep doing it. “Every single time you go through a bad case, a worse case…” you clarified, knowing how much they all sucked, “you push me away. It hurts. Every single time you do this, I end up hurt. I’m tired of being hurt.” Sobbing, you turned away, about to walk out the door, when you heard him beg.

“Please, Y/N, don’t leave,” he cracked. “I know I’m impossible, but I love you.”

As you pulled a tissue from your pocket, dabbing at the tears rolling down your face, you admitted your feelings. “I love you, too. So much. More than anyone I’ve ever known, but I can’t stand this anymore. I’m so tired of being hurt.”

“I’m not trying to hurt you,” he started, but you cut him off, the anger rising up to your head.

“But you are!” you yelled. “Just because you don’t mean it doesn’t mean it’s not happening!” You clapped your hand up to your face, stifling the crackling sob that emanated from your throat. “After three years together, I completely understand why this job gets to you, but you refuse to let me in. I’m a big girl, I can handle it - I just need some communication. You refuse to give that to me.”

Turning around, he combed his hands through his hair. “You shouldn’t have the images I have in my head in your own. You don’t need that.” He sucked in his lower lip, shaking with the need to burst into tears; he was trying so hard to fight it.

“No, I don’t,” you admitted, a sheet of tears falling to the floor as you closed your eyes, “But I love you, and I don’t want you to go through these things alone. That’s part of a relationship. Helping the other one through tough times - and you won’t allow me that.”

He reached out for you, but you moved back. If he touched you, you’d lose your resolve, and you couldn’t keep doing this without some reassurance that things might change. “Please don’t give up on us. I love you. You love me. What we have is…irreplaceable. Don’t you think so?”

“Of course, I do,” you sighed, the last of your river of tears drying out. “When you’re in the room, I don’t see anyone else.”

He smiled, a glimmer of hope returning to his eyes. “I know you’re right. I know I push you away. And I’m sorry.” Finally, he allowed the tears to fall, the vulnerability to show. “Is there anything I can do to keep you from walking away?”

They’d been through this before. She’d tell him that they needed to communicate, he’d agree, it wouldn’t happen, and they’d be right back where they started. “There is one thing you could do, but if you don’t commit, I’m walking.”

“I’ll do it,” he blurted out immediately. “I promise - and I know I’ve made promises before, but I swear, if you trust in me, I won’t let you down.”

You sniffled, a tear hanging from your eyelashes. “One. More. Chance. That’s it, Spence. One more time and if you don’t agree, I’m walking right now.”

“I swear,” he wept, walking toward you, “What do you want me to do?”

Taking a deep breath, you walked into his arms and grabbed his chin so he was forced to look directly at you. “You go to therapy after every case for at least six months and we go to couples’ therapy so we can work on communicating with each other. I know you hate talking about these things and you only do when your forced, so I’m forcing you. If I’m worth it to you, you’ll do it.”

Hesitantly, he placed his hand under your chin, tilting your head to the side and gauging whether or not he could kiss you. “Promise me,” you whispered. “Individual and couples’ therapy, at the end of which, if successful, we stay together, if not, I’m out.”

“I promise,” he mumbled against your forehead, his lip quivering. “I promise I will work as hard as I possibly can to be the man you deserve.” As your tears mixed, you licked the salt of your lips and and brushed them against his own. You reached your arms around his neck and tangled your hands in hair, massaging his scalp as you leaned his head into yours once more.

“I love you more than anything else in this world,” you said. “And you are the man I deserve. You just need to allow me in. Okay?”

He nodded, picking you up by your waist and smashing your lips together. “I promise…I promise.”


End file.
